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More Food, Less Rats
3
The Labertarian Party
Tedy Bruschi – Mayoral Candidate for the Labertarian Party
I'll teach all dogs how to get the cheese. A good round of puppy eyes goes a long way. If that fails, collapse on the feet of the nearest person and demand cheese. Belly rubs are a suitable substitution in cheese shortage.
It's time to clean up Somerville. Eat everything! Eating street trash is a surefire way to clean up the city, one rat at a time. Rat extermination references available on request.
I will offer traiining on avoiding ear cleans. See number one, collapsing on feet inhibits access to ears. Also, if you don’t clean your ears you can’t hear when you’re told not to eat rats.
You should vote for me as Somerville Dog Mayor because I’ve been a Somerville resident since I was just a pup and have grown to love and protect my neighborhood. I promise to bring joy and chaos to every official event and hold the office of mayor with my whole mouth. While I cannot promise not to steal my fellow official’s lunches or hearts, I will maintain the upmost integrity in the role, unlike my favorite soccer ball.
I'm social in person, not online.
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